Dear Natural Birth Advocates... (A letter from a regular person.)
Dear Natural Birth Advocates,
It's me. A regular person. I wear a bra, I drive a Toyota, and I get my hair highlighted. I have on occasion, even voted Republican.
I am pregnant and I have been looking into natural birth. I really want the best possible birth for my baby and it just doesn't make sense to have unnecessary drugs in the equation. So I have been researching and stumbled upon you- the natural birth community.
I have to admit...
You frighten me a little.
People are talking about skipping the epidural (which makes sense to me) but acting like to do that you also have to:
-eat your placenta (YUCK!)
-skip vaccinations (WHAT?!)
-birth at home (!!!!!!)
-breastfeed topless and for years and years on end (I don't want people to see my nipple! Is that so wrong?! And two year olds look HUGE!)
-stop wearing deodorant and shaving my armpits (I am not ashamed to admit that I LIKE having smooth legs.)
-cloth diaper (I remember my mom doing it, and seriously...WHY would you use cloth if you had another option? No toilet swishing for me!)
In fact, somebody on an online forum told me yesterday that men who are circumcised don't really enjoy sex and can't satisfy their partners. That is just plain insulting to me and my circumcised husband.
So, while I really want a natural birth, I am a little freaked out by the intensity and the depth of weirdness that appears to be required to have one.
Can't regular women skip the epidural without all the other stuff? It makes me uncomfortable and I feel like I will never be accepted into your community unless I become a different person. A smelly person who eats their own organs...
A message from the masses-
EVERY WOMAN WANTS THE HEALTHIEST BIRTH AVAILABLE FOR THEMSELVES AND ESPECIALLY THEIR BABY. We want that as much as you. But when you act like all my other life choices are toxic or fear based, or simply a result of lack of education, it is a tad rude.
I want birth choices and I don't want to be scared off by what you have to admit, are VERY different life choices. I want to learn without being insulted and I want access to information that doesn't offend or scare my husband.
A regular pregnant woman
I know lots of people who have stopped even considering natural birth because you freaked them out.
(Maybe this wasn't clear. (I thought it was obvious.) This isn't a real letter from a real person. This is me, Mama Birth, pointing out that the natural birth community does things that totally backfire on us and really freak people out and send them asking for c-sections. If you don't think it is funny, then don't laugh. But if you think people will listen to you when you tell them that they are stupid for going natural and then vaccinating, then you are blind.)