|She just had a baby a month ago. Claire Danes at the Golden Globes. Photo by |
Steve Granitz/WireImage. Found here.
Is it just me, or are we constantly pummeled with pictures of celebrities in skinny dresses? Not only are they thinner and taller and more beautiful than average people like me, but they look like this within moments of giving birth.
I truly believe that women should take care of themselves. I find happiness and increased positive feelings about myself when I exercise and eat well. I don't think that motherhood is an excuse to throw away all of our self respect or our makeup or nice clothes or heels.
But seriously? Exact same pre-baby body just one month after giving birth? That is not realistic.
Women of the world- it is NORMAL and EXPECTED for birth and pregnancy to change your body permenantly.
Men of the world- please, please, please, please- DO NOT expect the mother of your child to be slipping into her size 4 skinny jeans before she walks out of the hospital.
For the love of all that is normal in this world, WHY oh WHY do we perpetuate this image over and over again? Every time I turn on the computer there is a picture of a half naked celeb strutting down the red carpet (baby-free I might add) in her evening gown just a month or two after giving birth.
This sends a strong message- YOU CAN DO IT. You can look the same almost immediately after giving birth.
Normal people (even those of us without chefs, nannys, or personal trainers) CAN lose the baby weight. They can feel good about themselves. They can be beautiful. But it is not normal to do this right after we have had a baby. Nor is it normal to leave a newborn for hours on end to attend a party. Even a big party. (Date nights are important. But seriously, 7 hours at an award show when you just had a kid? Why is this the magical standard that we should all live by?)
This is the image that is promoted:
A mom shouldn't look like a mom. (Looking like a mom would be awful.)
A woman who spent 9 months pregnant should look like she was never pregnant. (EWWWW- pregnancy is gross. And fat.)
A woman who has children, shouldn't actually have to spend time with them or allow them to interrupt her life. (Hanging out with kids sucks. Why should our lives change after we have them? Who wants to lose their freedom?!)
I will tell you the truth.
Pregnancy and birth change your body. Probably FOREVER.
There is nothing wrong with that.
Pregnancy is not gross.
Proof on your body that you experienced motherhood, is a BLESSING not a CURSE.
And kids. They are SUPPOSED to change your life forever. There is nothing with change. It isn't always easy. It isn't all roses. But at some point we are supposed to stop obsessing over ourselves, our thighs, and our hair and spend a little time THINKING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. Maybe even sacrificing some time and energy for them.
They call that motherhood.
And there is nothing wrong with motherhood. It is AMAZING. And guess what? If you pretend it never happend to you, you miss out on a lot. If you spend motherhood trying to look like a celebrity in an evening gown you will end up feeling pretty miserable about yourself and pretty resentful of your kids.
When we promote the image of the "woman who looks like she didn't just give birth a month ago!" we de-value mothers. We tell them that they will be the same when they won't. We tell women that there is something wrong with them (they are lazy, stupid, fat, and/or dumb) if they can't look like they have had a baby.
It takes nine months to gain the baby weight. It often takes about nine months to lose it. That "extra" fatty tissue helps with milk supply and protects your reserves in case of famine. It helps feed your baby. The changes that happen in your body when you are pregnant help you and your child survive.
It isn't ugly to be a mother.
And it isn't "ideal" to look like you have never had a child.
Let's stop starving ourselves, beating ourselves up, wondering what is wrong with us and comparing ourselves to an ideal that isn't even ideal.
It might also help if WE stopped bashing on celebrities who actually DO gain weight when they have children.