My New Boyfriend- Mr Clean Magic Erasers
It's official. I'm in love again. I didn't think it could happen. After all these years of marriage and kids and messes and going to bed angry, I just thought the magic in my life was gone. Kaput. Disappeared. I thought I had become a jaded and bitter little housewife.
Oh- but how wrong I was!
Love came knocking at my door. Wrapped in disposable (but not compostable) wrapping just ripe for the landfill. A lovely (angry but still he beckoned me) bald man with arms crossed stubbornly. He came to fix my walls and my life.
And after all these years of cleaning with vinegar and water and ridding my house of the evils of chemicals and paper towels, I didn't WANT to love him. No, of course I didn't. I was committed to being greener and moral superiority based on the products I used.
But he changed all of that.
I didn't want to love him- but I HAD TO.
He filled a void that just NEEDED to be filled.
He cleaned the crayon off my walls.
He cleaned the crayon off of grout.
One time he even cleaned crayon off of BRICK.
Just yesterday he cleaned stuck magazine junk off of a dresser (don't ask how that got there. I am simply ashamed of myself.)
Whatever I asked him to do, he did. (You don't have to be in your 30's to know that THAT is a rare thing in a man. And when you find one like that you hold on with BOTH HANDS LADIES!)
The best part. When I am done using him- he disappears. Simply melts away like an M&M in your mouth.
Mr Clean Magic Erasers....I think I love you. I will go with you anywhere you want to go. I will be yours forever. Sure I may hide you in the back of the cabinet because who the hell knows what kind of weird chemicals must be in you to get those kind of results. Sure I will tell my friends that I only use "natural" cleansers like baking soda and vinegar (with a touch of essential oils to deodorize). Yes our love will be a secret kind of love.
But remember this. When the going gets tough, and the kids get busy on the house... I will reach for you once more.
How I need you.