Confessions of a Washed Up Mom Blogger

That's not really my mouth.  But I didn't steal the picture.  Morguefile.com rocks.

As time has gone on I have noticed something deep.

Everybody gets offended.

Yup- that's it.  Also- well, many, many people are really annoying.

In fact the whole "everybody gets offended" thing is really damaging my mojo here.  I self censor.

A LOT.

It's inevitable I guess unless drama is like oxygen to you.  And frankly, I hate drama.  I have four kids and a husband that give me plenty of that.  Unlike other seeming droves of women on  the Internet it just makes me tired to argue with a stranger.

I have to say- I don't get it.

The negative commentators.  I mean, I read blogs and follow Facebook pages (well, actually I don't look at FB pages any more) and I don't argue with people much.  If I disagree I look away.  If I disagree with a blogger- well- whatever.  They are entitled to their opinion.  And if we don't happen to agree on everything that is just fine with me. 

So I censor myself.  Because I know that anything and everything will set off the droves of howling harpies with nothing else to do but tell me how I suck or tell me how judgmental I am or how much they loved their epidural/c-section/bottle feeding relationship.

I can honestly say that that is just great if they loved those things.  I just don't happen to love them and I am not going to pretend that I do just to give them the proverbial pat on the head, "I'm OK, you're OK" condescending pile of schlep.

I mean, seriously?  I don't care what you think of my decisions.  Why do you care what I think of yours?  Oh- it's because I'm judgmental?  Is that it?  And you just can't stand judgmental people...

Well I am OFFENDED that you judged me to be judgmental.  And now I am in a huff!!!!  Gosh dang it- apologize and rub my feelings!

Seriously though- CONFESSIONS.  That's why you are reading this, right?  (Just kidding- I know that nobody is reading this because this is one of those posts I write to blow of steam and embarrass my children in some future day.)

Here are a few-  big, dirty, offensive.  (Not really, unless you are annoying, then they will be offensive.)

1)  I can't stand Single Dad Laughing.  Not because he thinks my church is dumb or anything like that.  No.  I can't stand him because of that freaking post about Costco and the mean dad that he watched for two minutes.

Seriously?  SERIOUSLY?  There is nothing more irritating than a person who has one kid young child, part time, who DARES to write 2000 words condemning a parent he watched for a few minutes in a grocery store.

I'll admit- my parenting isn't always up to par.  Sometimes I suck.  I screw up.  I say the wrong thing.  Sometimes I am even mean.

I am ashamed of it.  But it's the truth.  I get overwhelmed and MESS UP.

And I am willing to bet one million dollars that the single dad does too.

Everybody screws up their kids- and you know what is scary- NOBODY REALIZES IT WHEN THEY ARE DOING IT.

Nobody.

I have seen bad parents in action.  I can think of one in particular.  And it is sad and toxic and awful.  I would love to hate the mother in this situation because of her crappy parenting skills.  But then I saw the way HER MOTHER treated HER.

Yup.  Parenting is largely inherited.  And for those of us with access and the ability to read books and get therapy and even other people who give a crap to guide us and love us and help us be better then maybe there is no excuse for our behavior.  But a lot of people- they just don't have that.  It is the sad and ugly truth.

Not everybody in America has access to the blessings you have access too.

(What is ironic here is that I am offended that SDL is judgmental.  HAHA!  I crack myself up with my own hypocrisy!)

2)  I don't read comments on my Facebook page any more.

Nope.

If you want to tell me I suck or go on and on about how my opinion really ticks you off- feel free.  I won't stop you.  I won't delete you.  I won't EVEN NOTICE. 

Because seriously- the catty crap just brings me down.  I have this blog because I LOVE NATURAL BIRTH.  I have this blog because I want other women to get information about natural birth.  I have this blog so that I can vent and talk and do something I love- WRITE.

I don't have this blog to make you happy.

The only reason I have a Facebook page at all is to promote my blog- because I love this stupid little blog in a way that is probably  unnatural.

Sure- sometimes I will admit, I DO READ COMMENTS.  I get sucked in.  I can't look away!

Then I have to punch my eyes out and yell at my kids so really, it isn't worth it.

3)  Oh yeah- the biggie-

I LOVE NATURAL BIRTH!!!!

And I make not apologizes for it.

Here is to a little more honesty- even if it hurts.  

Peace out.

Comments

trooppetrie said…
can I please bow down to you. You have given me a huge laugh tonight that I really neeeded
meghann said…
Bahahaha. FYI, I can`t stand SDL either and have deleted him from my regular blogs. ;) And I am JUST like you...if I don`t agree with something, I look the other way. I`m confident in my decisions and everyone is entitled to their opinion. Good for you! Good blog post!
Cam said…
I love your blog! And I've never gotten the people who rant when they disagree with a blogger because it's just so much easier to go up and click the little x to close the window.

I've never commented before (at least I don't think I have) but I read your blog constantly during this last pregnancy before attempting a VBA2C. After 32 hours of natural childbirth the little stinker was transverse (he wasn't when he got to the hospital...) and I ended up with a third c-section. But, oddly enough, going through those 32 hours was healing, because this time I knew I'd tried everything I possibly could have.

And I'm so thankful for all the beautiful birth stories I'd read and all the information I'd gained that inspired me to beg and beg my doctors to let me try!

God Bless!
Cori Gentry said…
more sarah uncensored!
I love this. I hope you at least read some of the positive comments and know that your blog is making a positive difference in the world!
Living Lavallee said…
I SO AGREE about that single dad laughing boob. What does he know about anything? He can't keep a marriage, yet has all kinds of advice for married people, and he is so darn judgmental about parenting! He puts himself on some kind of pedestal with his parenting of, like you said, a part time cute and cuddly toddler. He has no clue what the Costco kid may have done. My then four-year old once broke a hand off a moving Halloween display at Sam's club (zombie or something), after I had told him not to touch anything. You think I was whispering sweetly in his ear afterward? I hope he did feel REALLY BAD for doing that as he spent a few hours in his room when we got home. Otherwise he might become a narcissist and not have any respect for anyone or anything.

Also, if I don't agree with something on a blog, I don't leave nasty comments - I move on. The internet sure brings out he ugly in a lot of people.
Michelle Stroud said…
I feel like I could have wrote this post. I spend a lot of energy self censoring so as to share information as gently as possible because the human ego is so good at making everything about us. My favourite saying is "What anyone else thinks of me, is none of my business."
Keep on being true to you.
Mama Birth said…
Thanks you guys. (Not that I read your comments...) CAM- so sorry your birth wasn't what you wanted but so glad it was healing for you. And I hope that I never wrote anything that hurt you.
And yes Cori- I think I may stop censoring myself so much. It loses it's fun- and this is my ONE thing, my ONE place that is for me. I want to devote the rest of my life to other people, but this is my place.
Becky- I love you! My friend who liked her epidural! HA!
And so glad I am not the only one who feels that way about SDL.
Yes- yes- I realize how hypocritical this post was! HA!
JoyBelle said…
I so hear you and the truth is that sometimes I cannot read the comments on some pages that are not even mine because of the trolls and drama. I love Mama Birth, I always tell mommas who are looking for good birth stories to check out your blog.

Keep at it, Mama! Haters are just jealous.
Chloe G said…
You're great! You're the clearest, most sane voice I hear on the net. Don't censor yourself. The more people hear what intelligent, thoughtful women like you have to say, the better the world will be. Be clear, be proud. xxxx
MidnightAgenda said…
I must have missed something. I stopped reading SDL a long time ago because he switched to writing too many long ass posts about this that and the other all serious and advice filled.

I thought you were supposed to be laughing?
The Quinns said…
Don't do that again!!! I read the title of this post and thought 'oh crap, the haters on the interwebs have finally gotten to her and she's closing up shop!' And then a single tear rolled down my cheek as the actual post loaded. And then I read it. And thought, 'oh-that's all? Phewwww! Thank goodness she's not shutting down the blog-but yea, haters blow.' Soooo-yeah-haters blow. I'm with you 100% I don't understand the need to spout off to a blogger you disagree with-just click close and move on!! Please don't ever leave :)
Mama Birth said…
Quinn you crazy girl! I'm not going anywhere. I actually thought about it but then I realized that I wasn't enjoying blogging any more just BECAUSE I was walking on eggshells all the time.
Alisha Stamper said…
i am thankful for your diligence. I enjoy what you post, and know that I can count on you as a great recommendation to friends when they become pregnant. Even toned, reasonable, logical. You are wonderful.
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