Sunday, November 11, 2012
Mom Needs Alone Time
I had the opportunity to have four days with NO kids this past weekend. I spent a lot of time worrying about if I would take my baby with me or not when I traveled. She is 17 months old and at an age that is very hard to travel with. The last time I took her I barely saw her because I was working so much and she SCREAMED bloody murder on the plane. (Do you remember that post on traveling with children?) It made for a baby that wasn't that happy (she really misses her siblings and daddy) and a mom that was worn out.
So I went back and forth as I tried to decide what to do for the trip. Screaming plane ride, unhappy baby, stressed mom vs baby with trusted family, and a mom that gets a much needed break.
I choose to leave her with family and felt pretty guilty about my selfish ways but in my heart I just knew it was the best thing.
I got back late last night and guess what?
The baby did FINE. She even picked up nursing right where she left off. She was happy with grandparents and they seemed to enjoy her. (Though my mom did say she wondered why I wasn't insane. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I am in fact half way there.)
You know what else.
I did fine.
I have four kids, my oldest is eight and my youngest is 17 months and I have almost never left them. I was burnt out. Worn out. Tired and even a little grumpy.
I needed alone time. I needed time to be something other than the mom.
Truth is I think everybody needs to be more than just ONE thing in their life, even if that one thing is mother. Sometimes I need to be a colleague or a friend or a professional. Sometimes I need a break from my kids.
It is so much easier to be a decent and joyful mother too when I have had a little break from it all.
I don't really know why I feel so guilty when I actually do something I enjoy- even when it doesn't actually HURT anybody else. But I do.
I am however trying NOT to feel guilty about being a human being AND a mother at the same time. I hope you are too.
(And thank you to all the people that made this amazing weekend possible. The Birth Boot Camp team, our newest batch of teachers, and my family. I am so very blessed.)
(Picture from morguefile.com.)