Greetings, From A Lazy Housewife

(Found here.)

I was sitting in a meeting recently and the woman teaching began discussing how lucky women are when they get to stay home with their kids.  (Agreed, by the way.)  Then she talked for a while about how IF you are lucky enough to stay home with your kids then you better give your man a hot meal and a clean house and throw some lipstick on before he comes home.  (Did I mention that she had never had children?  Yeah.)

I hung my head in shame. 

Then I felt a little offended. 

Then some more shame.

I try, I really do, but my house isn't spotless and I don't know where the lipstick is.  We do have a hot meal every night but that is a bright spot in my many failings. 

Then recently I hear bantered around the news some talk thrown at a wealthy political candidate's wife because she stayed home with her numerous children.  Said critic apparently said this mother of five (I think) had "never worked a day in her life" or something of that sort. 

And of course there is some fab new book coming out written by a brilliant French intellectual which pisses all over that stupid cloth diapering, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, parenting set over here in the US of A.  (Just for the record, I don't believe that cloth diapering mamas actually LIKE human feces any more than the next guy.  Crap is pretty universally gross, no matter what it goes into.  People feel this way, housewife or not, cloth or disposable, French or anything else.)

As I pondered these words spoken and written about the modern mom/housewife/breastfeeder/woman/etc, I felt a range of emotions.  Some anger.  A few, "They just don't get it!" moments, and I was even a little offended.

Then I realized something that should have been obvious. 


Yeah.  That was about it.  

I like my life.  I am happy in it.  I enjoy my children and what they bring to me.  I still feel intelligent and I still feel like what I do has meaning even though the majority of my work resides within the walls of my home.  

Yes, sometimes when people say that the homemaker "doesn't work" it strikes me as a little offensive, but sometimes there is a reason for that.  My guilt when this comes up might be because some days I DON'T work as hard as I should.  I am GLAD I feel guilty about it.  Then I can work on it and try harder and be better.

When it comes down to it though, people can go ahead and bash, make fun, mock, disrespect, whatever.  I don't care.  I am pretty sure that if I met these people (who all happen to be women- WHAT is up with that!?) in real life I wouldn't even like them.  So worrying about what people I don't know, and wouldn't like, think about ME, is a total waste of my emotional energy.  

You don't want to be a housewife?  Then for the love of all that is holy- DON'T BE ONE.  But if you want to talk endlessly about all the ways that other women suck, don't be hurt when I ignore you, don't buy your book, or roll my eyes when you start talking.  

Greetings, from a lazy housewife.  


Anonymous said…
I LOVE this! Can definitely relate - who has time to put lipstick on! :) Dawn of Raising Natural Kids :)
Michelle said…
Words cannot describe how much I love this post! And I've lost track of my lipstick, too...
Darci Cole said…
What's lipstick?

Great post.
Jessi said…
I think dads should be understanding when they get home of all the hectic activity, crazy messes and fights that went on during the day. They should be aware that if the house looks exactly the same as when they left, a LOT of clean-up work is done. The more kidsin the home, the more true this is.

But I also believe that a woman should try to look like a woman for her husband when he comes home. I'm not one for makeup (my husband doesn't like it either) but most days I try to change into a skirt and nice top and put some earrings and perfume on.

I appreciate when he looks and smells nice for me and I think he deserves it of me too. Plus I know how women dress in the corporate offices, they often do try to beautify themselves with makeup, attractice clothes and perfume. Why should he be around that all day and then come home to me in a "moomoo" (a t-shirt and PJ pants or whatever).
Jessi said…
Sorry for the typos.
momto5 said…
i agree 100% why do i care what those people think? and seriously if you do not want to be home all day than by all means PLEASE work. i do not think less of you if you want to WOH.
jessi: you need to do what works for you. i don't think i look less like a woman because i do not get all made up for when my dh comes home.
Jennifer said…
I don't own any lipstick AND I hardly ever shave my legs. Lazy mama over here.
Cruz said…
I always laugh when people say I don't work. HA! You have never cleaned up after my husband! The man who could shit in the same room after a tornado came thru and still live there, happily. I have a clean house from 8-5 and bam once he's home its a disaster again. I always want to reply with " Oh good! So you'll be by my house at 8 tomorrow right? You know to help me watch tv and eat bon bons?"