Friday, March 30, 2012

You Love The Fourth Baby As Much As The First


Last week my husband and I went to church with just us and the baby.  It felt so....young.  Honestly, going to church with four kids is something of a production and this was just so stinking EASY.  The baby is 9 months old and has been babbling for a while now. 

Her words include:
dada
dog
buster (the dog's name)
baba (for brother)
thank you
ball
But of course- not, mama.

However, as we sat there in church she looked at me and finally said, "mama mama mama mama." 

It was a good day. 

I actually burst into tears, I was so happy. 

Sure, I came in after the dog (twice technically) but finally, she had said it.  My name.  Mama. 

It just reminded me how much you love each and every one of your babies.  I think sometimes people look at bigger families and wonder how a mother or father can give as much, even love them all the same. 

But I can tell you that you do.  Everything they do is just as exciting.  Every milestone is a triumph.  It is ALWAYS a joy to watch a child learn and grow, even if you have seen it a few times before in another child. 

I will admit that life is different with more children.  We have spent the last two weeks with a killer flu making the rounds and I can only describe the experience as pure hell.  Really.  Hellish.  (If anybody is listening, I think it is totally unfair that mothers and children get sick.  What is the point of that?  More dirty floors?  More laundry?  I don't see it.)

So killer illness does make having lots of kids somewhat more difficult, but it doesn't mean you love them any less. 

I love my first baby.  I love my last baby.  I love my babies. 

The end.

6 comments:

Kimberly O. said...

Before I got pregnant with my second baby, I was so overwhelmed with love with my first baby. I was actually petrified to get pregnant again because I was not sure if I could ever love another baby as much as I loved my daughter.

I was terrified. When I actually got pregnant again, I was happy, but I was still reserved because I wasn't sure how I was going to feel...I wanted another baby so bad but I was just so worried. It used to keep me up at night.

And then she was born and I held her in my arms and I cuddled her and smelled her and fell in love. And the love for my oldest daughter did not change. And I felt just as much love for my oldest daughter. And it was awesome.

And then I got pregnant again...and I worried...again. And then I started to worry even more after we found out that baby was a boy. How was I supposed to love a little boy when I had only loved little girls? How could I POSSIBLY love three children?

And then I had my son. And my family felt complete. I love each of my children as much as the others and I will always love them. And now it seems silly that I ever thought that I wouldn't love one of my babies...a little bean that I grew inside me and gave birth to and helped flourish into a little person.

melissa v. said...

THANK YOU. People ask me all the time if my #4 gets as much love/attention as my #1 and #2 did. Look, people; she gets MORE. Because she gets mine and my hubs' and THREE SIBLINGS'... Ack. This issue drives me nutter.

I think people with kids often feel like their lives are very full. Our lives feel full with one child, two children, or fifteen and a half children. It is hard to imagine where you would squeeze in one more personality and one more bundle of need and energy. But when they are born or adopted, overnight, our worlds expand and suddenly we have enough room for them. Even though yesterday our lives were full with our other kids. THEN it is hard to imagine (a) the world without them in it, and (b) having room for one more. Again.

Awesome post. I concur.

Melissa said...

I absolutely agree. My ninth baby is 3 months old and I think my love is even sweeter for her than it was for my first! That may sound odd, but I think along with sort of "finding my groove" as a mother and letting go of certain things and embracing other things, I have, in fact, learned to love my children better as the years have gone by.
Plus, as the person above stated, subsequent children get a TON of attention!! Just recently, one of my middles commented that "Baby Elizabeth doesn't ever really cry..." I responded, "Because she doesn't need to! You guys are always so quick to fix whatever needs fixing." :) Then I teased my older ones that they had it so rough because they sometimes had to cry if I just couldn't hold them right then. But babies in a large family have LOTS of people to hold them, make silly sing-song faces for them, plug a pacifier back in, etc. Lucky baby!!

Erin said...

Thank you. I'm expecting my fourth baby and I needed to hear that.

momto5 said...

i love this post. being a mama of six i completely get it. i think the more babies we have the BIGGER the love gets. i mean it is massive right now.

Enjoy Birth said...

Lovely, as someone contemplating having one more, it is helpful. Now I just need my hubby on board! :O)

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