Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Why Our Children Have Flaws
Today I had a conference with one of my children's teachers. She pointed out something I knew, but didn't want to hear. Not a big deal, just something about my child that he would struggle with.
Of course I can look at ALL my kids and see their strengths and weaknesses. They all have things they are good at and things they struggle with.
Maybe one is deeply honest, while another finds it easy to say what gets them out of trouble. Maybe one is incredibly verbal and another physically gifted. One is good with people and another good at building things. One loves to read and another loves to draw.
Suddenly today though I realized that somebody else noticed not just a strength, but a weakness of one of my children.
Then something amazing dawned on me- everybody is somebodies child.
Obvious yes, but important.
If my child is imperfect what about the child of another?
I am patient with my child when something is difficult for him. I realize that it was always difficult. I realize that maybe they inherited this tendency. I remember it being hard even when they were tiny. I notice the way I have influenced this trait. I also see all that they are GOOD at. I know that the "flaw" or difficulty is simply a wonderful part of them. I recognize how it makes them stronger, push themselves harder, or humbles them when they need it. Maybe they will have to work on it, but it doesn't make them BAD. It just makes them human.
Sometimes though when I am dealing with other people though, all I notice is their flaws. What they suck at looms so large that I fail to see their gifts, their trials, their talents.
This is when I realize that parenthood isn't just a gift given so that we can raise some kids and keep them alive. There are lessons woven through it, if we care to notice.
Everybody has flaws. Everybody has struggles. They all also have a story, a gift, a person who loves them.
Noticing the imperfections in my own children, helps me realize that I should be more gentle with the children, even the adult children, of those around me.
I am so grateful to be a mother. Not just because I get to have cool kids who bring me joy, but because it helps me find more love for the people I know who are also a loved child of someone else.