Saturday, January 21, 2012

What It Means To Be A Mother


I remember when I first found out I was pregnant with my oldest.  I was filled with such a sense of wonderment.   

Awe.  

People talk about pregnant brain and pregnant women forgetting things and being silly and thoughtless.  Some attribute it to a deficiency in fish oils or a dietary mishap.  

But I don't think that is always what it is.  I couldn't concentrate because nothing else mattered to me.  I was going to be a mother.  

It was distracting.  Here I was, all my life, having lived in my own body, all by myself.  Then suddenly, I am sharing it with another.  I could sense him there, before he ever moved.  It is a feeling I couldn't explain really.  But, a miracle it was.  Two people, two spirits, together as one, even if just for a while.  
Somebody asked me what it was like, being pregnant.  

All I could describe was this notion that I was now part of some huge global sisterhood.  This may sound somewhat emotional or foolish, but it amazed me.  

I felt like I was part of something so much bigger than me.  It was both so very everyday, and still managed to be incredible.  I felt a bond with women around me that I had never really noticed before.  

We were all mothers.  We all loved our children.  

Amazing.  I had never felt such a kinship with strangers ever before.  

People complain about the public property you seem to become when you openly carry a child around in front of you.  But really, it was something incredible all by itself.  Suddenly women I had never met were telling me about their children, their grandchildren, their births, their loves and disappointments.  

They  must have felt it to, this excitement over the growing of a child.  

Do you know, I think I forgot about this.  I think I forgot some of the wonderment of motherhood as the days wore on and I had not one, but two and three and now four children.  

It became so everyday that it was just....normal.  

Then of course, I spend far to much time in front of my computer.  Suddenly motherhood was less about sisterhood and joy and more about who does what and what we think of that.  Maybe with a little taking offense and giving offense thrown in for good measure.  

But you know what, I got a chance.  A chance to remember.  

I got it tonight as I started another series of natural birth classes.  What a beautiful gift to see couples who are excited and preparing to give birth, meet together and prepare joyfully for one of life's greatest events.  

Tonight as I saw these five different couples talk and share their hopes and their fears and their excitement, I remembered again.  I remembered that same feeling.  

Oh my gosh, I hope I never forget it.  

I hope I always remember what a joy it is to be a mother.  

I hope I always remember the excitement and the awe and the yearning to learn all about it and explore the world again through your child.  

I hope I never forget the closeness it brings to a couple to bring something forth that is a little bit of each of them, and yet it's own thing altogether. 

If I have offended you or been harsh or unkind, I want to apologize.  

I remember now, and I will always try to remember, that we are all mothers.  

And mothers love their children. 

7 comments:

The Quinns said...

Oh no! I'm finished! I found your blog through our messy messy life and got so sucked in I wanted to start at the beginning. So I did. I went to the very beginning and have been reading non stop ever since. And. Now. I'm. Finished. Can't believe I'll have to start reading in 'real time'! Love your blog! Thanks so much and keep them coming, quickly please- I may have mama birth withdrawals soon!

JuneBlossom3 said...

I'm crying right now.
Beautiful post.

hellesbelles86 said...

I've been reading your blog over the last two days after finding a link to it on a midwife's facebook page and I've been loving every minuted of it. Giggling at funny stories and crying at the wonder and power and sometimes sadness of others. And this post sums it up so perfectly. I'm 12 or so weeks pregnant with my first and I had a similar conversation with my mom earlier about this complete distraction. I'm a photographer and should by now know the ins and outs of my camera like breathing, and yet there are two very common functions that have disappeared from my brain as if they never existed and it is this distraction with the life growing inside of me that I attribute this 'deletion of memory' to. I just can't care about anything else right now. Thank you for putting it into words so beautifully!

Mama Birth said...

Oh my gosh Quinns- you have got to be kidding. I have like 400 + posts! Don't worry. I post almost every day. Since I have no other addictions, I am stuck with blogging-

Thanks all-

The Quinns said...

Oh that makes me feel better! If I can have a dose a day I'll be able to make it!! Here's a suggestion you're welcome to ignore! I knew nothing about the benefits of chiropractic care during pregnancy before your blog. How about a post on the use of chiropractic care and it's benefits and some explanations. Or a guest post by your hubby! I'm your totally classic 40 wk 2 day induction- failure to progress- you must have an unnecessaeran mama. Wish I'd known then what I know now! Then tried for a vbac with an unsupportive ob and still hadn't educated myself so guess what- didn't happen! I'm coming to terms with it bc I'm pretty scared of a vba2c so there's lots of prayer involved asking for acceptance and peace. I love that you are educating ppl and wish I had found you sooner! But I am so interested in the natural birth movement and hoping to help support the licensing of midwives in my state. If nothing else I am at least a c-section mama who encourages natural birth to any and all bc I know what it's like to miss out and wish I'd known better! Love that you work so hard to educate others and hope you keep it up for a long long time!!

The Quinns said...

P.S. I never knew anything about delayed cord clamping either and I have banked both my daughters cord blood. Curious about that. Do the possible benefits of banking it outweigh the benefits of delaying it? Plan to have more children and am curious about this. Any thoughts or info? I'm sure you just love new readers who tell you what they want you to research and post for them but the chiropractic care and delayed clamping are two of my interests and now that I'm obsessed with your blog I'm curious about your opinion!! Thanks again for taking the time out of your no doubt busy home life to educate others! Hope you do write that book one day- ill be first in line to buy it!!
Sincerely,
Elizabeth

Stephanie - "Crunchy Baby...Maybe" said...

Love this!!!

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