Having Kids Doesn't Mean You Can't Have "Standards" Any More

(Photo via http://www.cardiganempire.com/2009/02/petite-blooms.html)

Oh yes.  You know how people think that just because women have kids they stop putting on make up and let everything go?  This is totally not true.  I still have standards. 

For example-

~In my house, you must be wearing underwear to participate in food preparation.  Nobody likes toddler butt that much. 

~I have makeup still.  It is on the carpet.  If I want some on my face, I just smear it on from the floor.  Plus, then I don't have to buy those wierd foam triangles. 

~I still dress up when I go out.  I even bought myself NEW yoga pants today.  Yeah.  Sexy. 

~Perfume?  Of course.  Mine is natural and biodegradable.  It is called, "Baby Yack." It only costs 9 months of our life but quantities are limited. 

~Messy floors?  I just can't abide that.  So the kids play a game where they pull each other around on blankets.  Doesn't get the corners, but who looks there anyway?

~I used to make my own spaghetti sauce from scratch.  I can't believe my stupidity.  Now I buy it in a jar (glass of course, I do care about safety and aluminum KILLS!) and add some veggies.

~Totally still comb my hair.  With my fingers.

~I decided not to waste money on trips to Africa.  Instead I have free...zebra stripes...all over my body.  Exotic.

~I don't have time to try on clothes in stores anymore, so now, I just hold them up and IMAGINE what they would look like.  I am not really missing out on anything.  I don't have time to look in the mirror at home anyway.

~I still clean my car.  I mean, it is our most expensive possession.  But now, instead of taking it to get detailed by 20 teenagers, I just hand each kid a bag and they fill it with either dirty clothes, trash, or toys.  It is embarrassing when all three large grocery bags are filled. 

~Lingerie?  Who needs it.  I have a greyish bra with "secret flaps."  That is practically the same as wearing something from Fredrick's.  Plus, it saves time.  


Amanda S said…
I love this! I only have one kid but many of these definitely apply.
AmberLou said…
I got to thinking the other day and realized it had been days and days since I'd looked in a mirror... you know, up close at your pores and eyebrows and stuff. Funny how vain the pre-child me seems by comparison!
cdnkaro said…
I just discovered your blog when a friend posted the link on Facebook- wanted to let you know that I loved this post- hilarious! As a mom to four kids aged 4 and under, I can not only relate, but expand upon your list:)

Mother Hen said…
Awesome blog!!! So true!!