Thursday, January 26, 2012

Having Kids Doesn't Mean You Can't Have "Standards" Any More

(Photo via

Oh yes.  You know how people think that just because women have kids they stop putting on make up and let everything go?  This is totally not true.  I still have standards. 

For example-

~In my house, you must be wearing underwear to participate in food preparation.  Nobody likes toddler butt that much. 

~I have makeup still.  It is on the carpet.  If I want some on my face, I just smear it on from the floor.  Plus, then I don't have to buy those wierd foam triangles. 

~I still dress up when I go out.  I even bought myself NEW yoga pants today.  Yeah.  Sexy. 

~Perfume?  Of course.  Mine is natural and biodegradable.  It is called, "Baby Yack." It only costs 9 months of our life but quantities are limited. 

~Messy floors?  I just can't abide that.  So the kids play a game where they pull each other around on blankets.  Doesn't get the corners, but who looks there anyway?

~I used to make my own spaghetti sauce from scratch.  I can't believe my stupidity.  Now I buy it in a jar (glass of course, I do care about safety and aluminum KILLS!) and add some veggies.

~Totally still comb my hair.  With my fingers.

~I decided not to waste money on trips to Africa.  Instead I have free...zebra stripes...all over my body.  Exotic.

~I don't have time to try on clothes in stores anymore, so now, I just hold them up and IMAGINE what they would look like.  I am not really missing out on anything.  I don't have time to look in the mirror at home anyway.

~I still clean my car.  I mean, it is our most expensive possession.  But now, instead of taking it to get detailed by 20 teenagers, I just hand each kid a bag and they fill it with either dirty clothes, trash, or toys.  It is embarrassing when all three large grocery bags are filled. 

~Lingerie?  Who needs it.  I have a greyish bra with "secret flaps."  That is practically the same as wearing something from Fredrick's.  Plus, it saves time.  


Amanda S said...

I love this! I only have one kid but many of these definitely apply.

AmberLou said...

I got to thinking the other day and realized it had been days and days since I'd looked in a mirror... you know, up close at your pores and eyebrows and stuff. Funny how vain the pre-child me seems by comparison!

cdnkaro said...

I just discovered your blog when a friend posted the link on Facebook- wanted to let you know that I loved this post- hilarious! As a mom to four kids aged 4 and under, I can not only relate, but expand upon your list:)

Mother Hen said...

Awesome blog!!! So true!!


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