4 Crunchy Things That Just Make Me Gag

(Picture via http://acmetreeservices.co.uk/)
Girls, I don't really like the word crunchy.  I don't really like "lists" of crunchy accomplishments either.  You know what I mean, the "I co-sleep, breastfeed, don't cut my sons, EC, and yada yada yada" list that so many of us have after our names.

I tend to think those things will probably be temporary in my life, and not eternally defining.  I mean, if I am still co-sleeping with my kids in 20 years... I just hope somebody puts me out of my misery.  

So I am going to make a little different list.  This is the crunchy stuff that I just can't wrap my mind around.  Please, don't get offended.  I am not actually making fun of you in particular.

Unless we know each other in real life, then I guess I could be.

1)  Lotus birth-  So a true lotus is when the cord is never cut, it and the placenta just stays attached to the baby until it falls off on its own.

I love Sarah Buckley and I think she is some kind of natural birth goddess, but I just can't do this.

The really disgusting thing is that part of the reason why I can't do this is because I would rather eat my placenta.  But I digress.  (And don't tell me you can lotus and still eat it.  My own organ is hard enough to gag down without it having sat around for a few days.)

2)  Family cloth-  I kid you not, I heard of this online, and it took me a few days to figure out what it was in my head.   And when it came to me....good gosh...I almost ripped my tongue out. 

No way in heck am I ever washing cloth wipes that my husband used on his bottom.  NO WAY.  I would cut down a tree and make my own toilet paper before I would go there.  (If you are reading this, I am sorry honey.  I know my crap stinks too.)

Thank you, but no thanks.

3)  No-poo-  No, we are not still talking about family bowel movements.  There is actually a "no-poo" movement.  People in the modern world, are GIVING UP SHAMPOO.

I know.  Sacrilege.  

I get that some people think that the more you wash your hair the more greasy it gets.  That could very well be true.  There could even be toxic, brain squashing chemicals in my shampoo.  (Pantene, by the way.  Don't hate.)

The truth is, I really don't care.

I shower AND wash my hair EVERY DAY.  And if I don't get that shower and washed hair, you better watch out.  It is sometimes the best part of my day.  I love it.  It resets everything and makes me feel like a brand, spanking new, human being.

And my hair smells good.  That is not something I am willing to give up. 

4) Not Yelling-

I hear that not yelling is part of being a good attached parent.

I am not sure though, because I was yelling over my children and I didn't really hear the announcement.

I would actually LIKE to give up yelling, it is just that I am pretty sure that nobody would listen to me if I didn't occasionally use this tool.

I know.  I know.  I am damaging my kids.  Believe me, I KNOW that.

But seriously, if you could spend a day with my two year old and not ever yell, you should just be shot straight to heaven with Mother Theresa and all the rest of the saints, because there isn't room for people like you on earth.  You are making me look bad. 

Does this no yelling thing apply to husbands too?  Because if it does, I am really in trouble. 

Lest you were just forming a comment verbally haranguing me for being an awful person, please, I am A) already aware of that, and B) I actually do TRY not to yell.  It isn't that bad.  I am trying to be funny here.  Give me a break. 
If you had started to hate me after reading this post, I will throw in that I do use some weird stone deodorant (doesn't work that well), go to a Chiropractor (my husband, so I get it for "free" if you consider student loans we may never re-pay, "free") and brush my teeth with sawdust.  I mean baking soda.

So really, I am pretty OK still.

Right?  Can we still be friends?


Hannah said…
I can laugh at this post even though I've tried "no-poo" (what a silly name!) and would like to try it again! Shampooing every day makes my scalp horrible...and I'm not willing to spend a fortune on fancy shampoos. For now I'm just cut down to only showering every 2-3 days, so "less-poo".
Christine said…
AS far as yelling I read somewhere one time to talk really quiet, almost whisper and it takes the kids down because they have to stop to listen. I have to say I tried it and most the time it works! Maybe a fun experiment in anycase. ;)
Unknown said…
1. Lotus birth doesn't make me gag. I just don't see the point. I'm with you, I'd rather eat it. And THAT made me gag the first time I heard of it.
2. Meh, I don't think I'd gag, I'm just not that committed to the cause. TP doesn't cost that much and my hub would never go for it.
3. I tried no poo using baking soda and vinegar. It was ok, but I immediately went back to my pooish ways.
4. Ummmmm...not likely to happen.
Well, you are a better person than me if you actually do shower every day.

I am a no'poo devotee and a massive fan of the so fresh and so clean clean smell of apple cider vinegar.
Ashley said…
I hear you on 3 of the 4, but I've had GREAT results with no-poo. Shampooing frequently is awful on hair, especially curly hair. I shower and wet my hair every day, condition with jojoba oil every 2-3 days, and wash with baking soda and vinegar once or twice a week. My hair smells just fine and its quality is MUCH better. I have less frizz, my curl is tighter and more defined, it feels softer and I spend even less time on my butt length curly hair than I did when I was merely shampooing once a week.

I'm totally vain about my hair and I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't working.
Diana said…
Great article! I just heard about the no-TP thing a few days ago too, and that's something that will never happen. Nor will lotus birth, because I am literally waiting for the placenta to emerge so that I can eat the darn thing (it helps SO much with afterpains!!!). And I tried the no-shampoo thing for a couple of days before I forgot about it... and my hair was driving me nuts. As for not yelling, I'll think about it after I get finished yelling. :) And I could add a lot more crunchy things to this list that I don't do, but I'll stop while I'm behind!
The only thing I disagree with is the no-poo business. Since starting I can go 3 days without washing my hair AND it still looks good. And maybe I'm regretting publicly announcing that to the world.
nikalee said…
1) doesn't make me gag, I'd just rather eat it. (Dehydrated and encapsulated.)

2) Doesn't make me gag, we're just not there yet; because I would expect everyone to rinse their own fecal matter cloth, and that's not happening here.

3) I shower daily, but don't always use commercial shampoo. Baking soda and apple cider vinegar work, are cheaper, and have really long shelf lives, work for cleaning everything from hair and teeth to coffee pots and counters and family cloth, and can be considered food storage. (hint hint nudge nudge.)

4)I grew up in a house with a lot of yelling. I preferred that to the "talking about things" that happened at my aunt's house. It was easier, quicker, I didn't feel so bad ignoring it, and I felt justified in yelling insulting things back. It seems like the louder people get, the lower their IQs, respect, and compassion drop. I actually deeply despise yelling, but my husband equally hates when I turn and walk away from him, or take whichever kid he's yelling away from him, when he starts yelling. I do it sometimes, but feel stupid even while I'm doing it.

So really, I think you're pretty ok still, and that we could probably be friends.
Ruethee said…
#1 - yeah, I love placenta, think they're beautiful and amazing, but couldn't handle it being attached and decomposing for several days. I have mine encapsulated and happily gulp the capsules.

#2 - I use cloth wipes when changing a cloth diaper and disposable wipes when changing disposable diapers. I would totally do "family cloth" but there would be rules: NO poop, only pee. So it would only be me using them because my teen won't and daddy doesn't wipe his pee (I don't think.)

#3 - I mostly no poo, but do wash with baking soda and mix in essential oils for amazing smells. Every month or so I use regular shampoo and my scalp and hair become immediately unmanageable. The longer I go between using regular shampoo the better.

#4 - I'm completely with you.

Can we still be friends?
Jaclynn_kyuss said…
I love you..I just nearly peed at the family cloth!
Jessica Dimas said…
BAhahahaha oh my gosh though...I almost started dry heaving at the thought of washing a cloth that my husband wiped his butt with.

I prefer to eat my placenta too, such a waste to just let it rot like that. I need my 'poo too. Nothing like a hot relaxing shower at the end of the day to make me feel like a woman again!

Hilarious, thanks for the midnight laugh.
Kimberly O. said…
#1 - It's not that lotus birth grosses me out, it's just that I'm lazy and carrying a placenta around with me for a week seems pretty pointless. When baby three is born, I'll have a toddler to tote around and a newborn...why would I want my placenta to add to that?! (I'll happily be dehydrating and encapsulating it though!!)

#2 - I can barely handle the cloth wipes and dish towels...there would be no TP in my house if I had to do that.

#3 - I honestly want to try this. I probably wouldn't stick to it...but I'd at least like to try.

#4 - Ughhh. I try not to yell. I don't like yelling. But seriously??

ps -- I still like you. We can still be friends.
Guggie Daly said…
LOL!!! :D

I don't know...I don't think no-poo can be in the same article as family cloth. :D

I can't do family cloth unless it becomes absolutely necessary in some apocalyptic way. DH's #2? Uh uh.

But no-poo, I guess I've basically done for a long time b/c I have sensitive skin/hair and hate showering. Your hair really does balance out and feel stronger and nicer. I still shampoo periodically to fit in w/ the modern world's expectations, but it's losing appeal with me.

PS I think you CAN consume placenta w/ a lotus birth...you put the placenta on ice w/ herbs.
Guggie Daly said…
oh ps on the yelling thing I think it often gets mixed in w/ "emotional and verbal abuse."

Being loud and outgoing is a cultural and personal thing. Being abusive with our words and physical abilities (e.g. how loud we can get or how angry we can appear) is another thing entirely.

But I don't like yelling b/c it quickly turns into an escalating dynamic. Yell louder and louder and louder...like counting to 3. It means the parent and child are still in a combative struggle as opposed to working together as a team.
Emma-Lou said…
So with you on these. Still couldn't eat the placenta though. (Gag at the thought of liver and kidneys too.)

Here's to being not so crunchy.
Alice said…
No-poo doesn't mean not washing your hair, it just means not washing it with shampoo and conditioner! Baking soda and apple cider vinegar actually leave my hair feeling way nicer than any shampoo or conditioner I ever used. Love it.
Unknown said…
Oh thank you.. :-) the family cloth things scares the hell out of me.. eww.. i mean eww.. TP is why god gave us trees.. I would way rather not drive.. then not wipe my bum with bleached woodpulp..
Ananke said…
It's the first time I'm reading about Family Cloth, but my first thought is - wouldn't it be easier to just install a bidet? Much more economical and eco-friendly in my opinion.
Hannah Joy said…
Oh I love you...rem your bog. :0)

The yelling thing made me laugh out loud.

The shampoo thing- I'm so with you on. Hubby just got us a new "natural" shampoo to use: I was so skeptical because I've tried them and my hair never feels clean and always feels kind of filmy and flat.

He got us some Cal Ben shampoo with coconut and almond oils: holy crap that stuff is amazing!!!! My hair (every one in our family, actually) is and feels AMAAAAZING (and DH and dd2 tend to have very greasy weird hair)... Some how this stuff balances it all out. Just saying.
Unknown said…
Ha ha! I never thought of myself as crunchy, but when your friends call you Amish behind your back and no poo makes the list... I guess I kinda am. :) Shampoo has always been difficult to keep a long time love affair with. It never worked for very long, and I would switch to another kind. No poo is awesome, because not only does it clean my hair so well, and leave it easy to comb through, but my face isn't broken out anymore (or my neck, now that I think about it). The issue for some people is the amount of baking soda to water used, and same with the vinegar. My man and I use different concentrations. He likes a lot, and I like a little.

Family paper... Shuddering.
Eating placentas, while it makes a lot of sense... Makes me gag just thinking about it.

Yelling... I try too, but there are times when I'm pretty sure not much else works. I never wanted my parents to be upset as a kid, and it was not often that they were. Same here. Wish I was perfect, but I'm not. BTW, damage can be done with or without yelling and I am pretty sure it can be said vice versa. Try yelling "I love you" and I've made my point.
April Yedinak said…
I find this post hysterical...except the lotus thing. That is frankly disturbing- I picture a clean and cuddle newborn dragging a chunk of rotting meat...ewww! As far as no shampoo- I would chop the hands off the person that took my shampoo. In dire emergencies I have chosen washing my hair over washing my body because I can ignore the funk of the body much better than a greasy, stanky, itchy head. The toilet paper thing is also not an option. Again, in times of need (poverty, forgetting to purchase TP, etc.), I have been known to spend my time on the throne crumpling notebook sheets or newspaper over and over to 'soften' them, because a reusable cloth will never be OK. Rubbing my butt on shrubbery would be more OK. And finally, give yourself a break on the yelling. I don't yell all that often (is daily often?), but when I do it get's results and has the added bonus of keeping me from going all Tasmanian Devil on my friends and family. Your kids won't be damaged any more than if you didn't yell and instead had a massive stroke from all the bottled stress. My kids probably are damaged somewhat because when I am mad I drop curse words like a gansta rapper and they just laugh.
April Yedinak said…
Oh yeah and I can't believe I typed 'get's' in my previous comment...why the apostrophe...why?! Shame Spiral...
Jessi said…
My husband doesn't use shampoo. I guess growing up in a village in southern Egypt, they didn't have shampoo, I guess they used bar soap. I'm sure that wouldn't work for me, but his hair (tecnically he's African, although many Egyptians don't see themselves that way) he insists if he uses shampoo his hair and scalp will be way too dry.

I yell at the kids, and I'm trying to work on that, but what I find is the more you do it, the less they listen. So I'm working on using a calm tone (generally calms them better) and only raising my voice when it's really serious. Or I'm really exhausted.
Anonymous said…
Bahahahaha! Love this! I actually wanted to do family cloth after figuring out how much we were spending on toilet paper. My husband, who has been wonderfully supportive and gotten on board with all of my other crunchy leanings (You know, "The List." He even got in the birthing tub with me and the other things that were pushed out before my son was born, washed poopy cloth diapers, etc.), got this horrified look on his face like it was just dawning on him that I'd lost my mind and flat out refused to consider family cloth. I guess the idea of a wetbag of crappy wash cloths hanging from the door knob in the bathroom was more than he could stand!
Holly Scudero said…
I was starting to wonder if I was becoming crunchy, but I guess I'm not; before this, I'd never even heard of no-poo or family cloth. I've gotten my husband on board with a lot of my "wacky ideas," but I somehow don't think he'd be keen on reusable TP... he still occasionally complains when I make him use cloth napkins instead of paper towels! I'm with you on lotus birth; I think the idea is interesting, but I'd much rather just eat it. Interestingly enough though, I'm actually quite intrigued by the idea of no-poo... something new to research!
Karen Joy said…
I'm with you on lotus birth and Sarah Buckley. I absolutely consumed Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering and was inspired by many of her stores. But, not that one. :)

Now off to Google "no-poo". On my own, without realizing there was a movement afoot, I have been considering this, and reading all the comments, see that there must be recipes out there for (I'm guessing) washing with baking soda and rinsing with ACV.
Nadia said…
Chiming in...

1) Can't do. Not because it makes me gag, but I don't see why. I say, once the cord has stopped pulsating - cut it. I'd rather encapsulate it & eat it (though haven't done it yet)

2)no TP would be fine with me,but a no go with the hubby. I use cloth wipes on my 2 year old when he poops, and his poop isn't the wonderful baby poop anymore (IKWIM). So what's the difference, really?

3) No poo. No, because I'm lazy. I don't want to bother making my own shower blend... I shower everyday (it's my zen ritual), but I only wash my hair about once a week (or more). I use a natural shampoo and I'm ok with the ingredients. I can't go back to toxic shampoo - freaks me out and used to make my scalp VERY itchy.

4) I yell. I'm Italian and it's part of your culture. However, I also yell too much when I'm angry - that, I must stop... baby steps ;)

Oh, and on the toothpaste front... I heard that using baking soda everyday is thought to be damaging for the enamel (?)
Mary Siever said…
Ha :) Yeah I am with you. I think the idea of a lotus birth is fine, if someone wants to do it, I just can't...it wouldn't work very well in my home. No shampoo, well the idea is appealing, but I can't do it. (But I do use apple cider vinegar as a rinse sometimes). My hair would hate me. I have to shower every day because I run and workout every morning and come home smelling like it. I hadn't even HEARD of family cloth. I use cloth for me and my diaper clad babies and toddlers, but even my oldest daughter hasn't started using cloth yet. As far as cloth for everything else. Um, no, no can do.

Yelling. Oh never, why would I EVER yell?? :P I try not too, and yes being gentle and patient and whispering would be wonderful but I have a 13 year old daughter, 10.5 year old (boy), 6 year old daughter and almost 3 year old daughter and sometimes they drive me nuts, either way I never get abusive or mean, just loud and exasperatef. Yes, I AP, yes I birthed them gently, yes I homeschool and babywear, etc etc etc, but I am not the perfect ideal mother earth mama.

I really want to encapsulate my placenta this time but we are back on a student budget. Sigh. I have yet to actually eat my placenta. I would if I HAD too, but being a vegetarian I have a hard time doing it. I do think it's great when people do and I could eat it encapsulated. I just don't know if I can afford it this time around. I don't suffer from PPD and calcium and Polly Block's formula work wonderfully for afterpains so far.
Mama Birth said…
Mary Siever- If you have a dehydrator you can just rinse it, cut it up, put it on the dehydrator for 24 hours and then crush it in a good blender or a spice or coffee grinder. The encapsulating kit is about 20 bucks- but I just stirred a spoonful in OJ in the morning because I couldn't spring for that either. Good luck! Maybe hubby would do it- or a friend. I did it for a friend as a gift. So if you had a dehydrator you could still do it for only 20 dollars for the encapsulating stuff- maybe a little more for the pills-
Mommy Tully said…
lol! I think this is one of my favorite posts! Hilarious! And I learned something new, yet quite disturbing... Although... I am afraid to make fun of it for fear I will end up deciding its "right" for our family down the road. Wait. No. I am not! The idea of family cloth, um... well holy crap! lol! I will admit that even thought I was once upon a time married to Pantene the idea of "No-Poo" has intrigued me. As a reformed Pantene lover might I suggest my new healthier love Giovanni:)
Phoenix said…
I rally hope to have a lotus birth with my next baby. I love slings (stretch or woven wraps), so it should be easy enough to 'tote it round' besides the baby. I'd also love to plant it under a sapling tree. Hate the idea of eating it, even capsulated and knowing the supposed health benefits.
Oh, and I've read the cord/placenta usually comes away in 3 to 4 days if lotus birthing, so not too long, certainly not a week.
Love the others though. Right there with you on the cloth. Yuck. I can do cloth sanpro but I draw the line at cloth toilet wipes :/
I cant do no shampoo, but me & my girls use only eco shampoo, no parabens or SLS, and actualy, my youngest has curly hair and only gets shampood maybe once a month if that, her hair doesnt need it. Mine gets shampood every two or three days usually.
I'd love to yell less, but that'd require some co operation on the kids' parts lol.
Mary Siever said…
Oh ok, thanks! Well no dehydrator but I should look for one. Good idea!
Misty Pratt said…
Wow, you've given me some great ideas!! lol...just kidding. Well, actually, the no-poo idea is pretty cool. I think I may try that!
I respect others who choose Lotus Birth, but it's definitely not for me. I can understand the spiritual aspect that they believe, but then I wonder about the spiritual implications of something decaying on the body.

I have toyed with the idea of family cloth, but only for me and only for pee. I use cloth wipes for babies, but I couldn't handle something that my husband wiped his hairy butt with. Ew.

No-poo is intriguing and I want to try it. I've switched to natural shampoos and have seen a really big difference, especially with my sensitive skin. No-poo is the next step.

Yelling...that's a tought one. It's definitely something I want to improve on. I'm very loud.
Trisha said…
You don't think breastfeeding will be eternally defining? Really? And co-sleeping usually is temporary for most moms like me. Sleeping with my newborn in my arms was pretty defining for me. I guess I just can't stand this "crunchy" label. I don't even really get what it means....people should just do whatever makes them feel happy.
Anonymous said…
I do no-poo ...but I'll tell ya, I could do without homemade rinses and stuff. And in the summertime when I sweat like a whore in church while working in the garden or hiking? Yeah, I'll use some shampoo.

Also - family cloth...I have an upcoming post about this. Toilet paper is the only paper product we use and I think I have good reasons.

Now, I'm an unassisted birther and everyone seemed to assume I did the lotus birth thing and it was hard for me to not go, "Oh my god,ew...no!" because there were people who seemed to think this was super cool and I didn't want to offend them.

Oh...and I yell a lot. I also swear a great deal.
Anonymous said…
I COULDN'T"T do without the rinses, I meant
Anonymous said…
Never heard of "family cloth", but since we're living at half federal poverty level, and being pregnant I now have to pee 8-12 times a day, I have started using a wash cloth and sometimes a squirt bottle when it's just #1. That said, I am one of those rare souls who'd actually be willing to take on the family cloth thing if it came to that.

After becoming disenchanted with the whole double application of chemicals and greasy hair the next day thing, that you get with adhering to the shampoo and conditioner obsession, I tried Castile soap for a while, but it didn't quite work. Then I found No-poo! We all use baking soda for hair and body, and now it's soft hair and skin, no conditioner necessary... you just have to wait out the transition with patience while your natural-oil-production adjusts to not being constantly stripped. And make sure to brush you hair each day so the oils get properly distributed.

I wouldn't do the full lotus thing - not just the inconvenience, but I'm not convinced that it's either a physical or spiritual ideal. Let it stop pulsing and cut it, and this time around (baby #3 in March) we're going to try the dry and encapsulate thing if we can figure out how to do it.

With you on the yelling, too. No name-calling or put-downs... they're just so loud, sometimes I don't have any other way to get them to know I'm going into sensory overload.

Still friends? You bet. I say: 1) Be real about how you think and feel, and 2) Be down with the agree-to-disagree thing. That's my definition of eternal friendship, so I think we're good. :)
Rochelle said…
1. My DD lotus birthed at 3days 10hrs old. I only got around to washing, salting, lavendering her placenta twice in that time. There was no perceivable smell unless you stuck your nose right up next to it & sniffed! It wrapped up small & I clothed her with the placenta & cord inside her clothing sitting on her belly... no fuss! I wish I had heard about using a small cooler bag & ice packs to keep the placenta fresh so I could have also chosen placentaphagy as well! I might do that next time though that wouldn't be quite as easy as wrapping it all up in clothing was.

2. I've done 'Family cloth' though it was only myself & DD. If there was older children or other adults involved I would expect them to rinse their own cloths off. I would just throw all used cloths straight into the washing machine as I would also any cloth nappies & other cloth wipes then set the machine to wash them every day or other day! No fuss & the cloth feels great to use :D

3. I un-poo with bicarb & vinegar. My DD only has water on her hair. I have washed my hair with commercial shampoo once in the past 3 years. There was definitely a transition period of a month or so! Now I use water most days & bicarb/vinegar a couple times a week is all. My hair now looks & smells great!

4. Yelling or not yelling doesn't make me gag. When I do yell in impatience, frustration, anger, whatever I will also talk to my DD about what brought out the yelling. Yelling in playing is another thing ;)
Unknown said…
By the time I finished this post I was laughing and in love. Thank you so much for sharing your feelings with the world!

Joy@WDDCH said…
I'd love to give up yelling, too! But I'm no saint and I am not trying to be. LOL! Fun post!
Danielle said…
This post was too funny!

1. Not only do I not Lotus Birth, I don't eat my placenta... but now I am intrigued as someone in the comments said it helped with the after pains. I must research this!

2. We do family cloth... it just made sense as we do cloth everything else. My husband and my 11 year old son just use the diaper sprayer and wash off their cloth wipes immediately, then place in the wetbag. If they didn't, I would just do it. Poop doesn't bother me... we keep a roll of TP for guests though.

3. I actually want to try no-poo. My mom did and has had amazing results.

4. Not yelling it not going to happen in my house. I try not to yell, I really do, but with four boys... someone is getting yelled at!
Marissa said…
LOL :) Thanks for the laugh. I agree with you on all of these!
Karli K. said…
I do some of these things. and I'm not some weirdo that people can't look at in the eye or stand too close to. I'm clean, I smell good, and well, I'm working on not yelling. Sure, maybe lotus birth seems odd to me, but isn't that mostly because I haven't ever seen it done?!? Not sure where the funny was supposed to be here? Just because YOU don't want to do them doesn't mean you have to mock others for doing it.
Unknown said…
Hi, great article! I don't think lotus birth would work so well with my other three curious children. I would rather eat placenta than risk bleeding to death from PPH again. How do you eat it or dehydrate it? I had some wicked after pains after my littlest one's birth (#3).

I've done cloth wipes and mama cloth...never considered family cloth.

I tried the no-poo thing, but went back to shampoo. I use the volumizing stuff from Melaleuca...I love their cleaning products they work MUCH better than the vinegar and baking soda with lemon I used to use. Also pretty cheap.

I wish to someday control my anger and frustration enough to quit yelling. hahaha!
Julie said…
That was sooooo funny. Thanks for the laugh!

BonnieJ said…
Haha, you EAT the placenta but don't like lotus births? I don't think I'd do either one, but eating it pretty much takes the cake! :) Just goes to show we all have different inhibitions and likes/disgusts.
Michelle said…
1. I like the idea of a semi-lotus - at least waiting until the placenta is delivered to cut the cord. But yeah, I don't like the idea of it staying attached for days. And I still don't know about eating my placenta. I'm fine with OTHERS eating THEIRS. That's cool. lol
2. I do family cloth, except my hubby doesn't join in so it's just me and the kid (ha!). But I have reasons: after a tear through the rectum things just don't, uh, wipe up easily so I need something stronger than TP. That being said, I also spray off with a peri-bottle (bidet in a bottle! yeah!) so rarely is there ever excrement actually on the cloths. And on DD - TP gets stuck in her little girl parts and that just bothers me to no end.
3. Love being no-poo, but I also have a pixie cut so it's extremely easy. I don't know what it would be like with long hair.
4. Nothing wrong with being loud, but my temptation is to be angry and unkind in my yelling (which was my example) so I try not to...Nothing good comes from yelling for me (which doesn't mean I don't ever yell).
Michelle said…
But I will say, after being poo-free for the greater part of the last year, if ever I use any product in my hair (shampoo, conditioner, spray, molding stuff, "natural", or generic) my hairline necessarily breaks out. No bueno.
momto5 said…
LOL that list was hilarious! i am so not understanding lugging around a decomposing organ for about a week. i think maybe having it attached to the baby sort of forces you to stay put and rest, which could be nice.
i tried to convince my family to use family cloth, but dh was like "hell no!" lol
i also love to shampoo my hair. but i only do it 3 times a week. so partial poo? LOL
and i yell. i am working on it, but i still do it.
so yeah, i think we could be friends. LOL
Meryl said…
Waiting til the placenta is delivered to cut the cord is called delayed cord cutting - definitely not a semi-lotus imo... That would require wrapping the placenta and at least a day or so of attachment!

I'd never do a lotus birth because I'm so sold on the benefits of placenta encapsulation (or however you want to ingest it).

I'd do family cloth for #1, I'd do no-poo if it worked for me (but it doesn't) and I'd yell if I reached that point, but I'm not a yelling person so it doesn't really come up... yet... I do only have one child so far.

I love this post because I appreciate bloggers who admit less-than-perfect status and who don't really like the word crunchy, or the "crunchy accomplishments list" either... Probs because I feel the same :)
Krystal said…
LOL--love it!

Lotus birth - I love the concept, but I do prefer encapsulating. We did a "partial lotus" with my last babe--which for us meant we didn't cut the cord for about two or three hours.

And just for the record--"no-poo" does NOT mean not washing your hair! It just means not using commercial shampoo to do so! ;)

Maybe check out the EWG's list of toxins in beauty products. Just sayin' ;)

Family cloth, ehh. I do hate buying toilet paper, and I already wash cloth diapers, which I think gets you a lot more close-and-personal with poo than family cloth ever would. But whatever.

No yelling? THAT, I am 100% on board with. I am an advocate for nonviolent parenting as often as i can be. But i don't think there's anyone out there who's never yelled. Bad habits are hard to break.
Sarah Skinner said…
As far as Lotus birthing, I personally can't do it. Also it is NOT recommended that you encapsulate the placenta after a lotus birth because even if you have it on ice, you have to make sure that the temp remains consistent to stave off decay and bacteria (very hard to do even with ice). I do mama cloth and we cloth diapered but I don't think I could do family cloth......plus I'm too lazy to make them and too cheap to buy them. I have tried no-poo several times and was not a fan. To never yell would be nice but is not likely to happen any time soon!
HollyS said…
I hope we could be friends...I can't do any of that either. I also can't eat the placenta or many of the other "crunchy" mom stuff! I bf when not working and pump when I am working. DS gets to sleep in our room and ends up in bed after his 1st feeding of the night. Other than that, don't know what else makes me anywhere near a crunchy mom but I enjoy your blog all the same!
Avtar Ram Kaur said…

Going without shampoo isn't much of a big deal at all! My hair is actually nicer than it ever was before, and I don't have to wash it every day like I did when I was shampooing it. :)
Alli said…
I dehydrated my placenta myself following her instructions. I spent $7 on a steam basket and $10 on empty pills from the health store.


I've cOnsidered family cloth and even made about 150 wipes but have only used for baby so far.

No poo intrigues me but I have yet to make the switch. Maybe in time.