An Open Letter To The Two Year Olds Of The World

Dear Two Year Old-

I love you lots.  There are a few things I need to let you know so that our relationship can function more smoothly.  Read CAREFULLY.

~When I am telling you something important, and you look away and pretend I am no longer there, I can still see you.  And, I know you can still hear me.

~When I tell you NO I don't mean "I don't really like you," I mean, "No."  And I usually am saying it so you won't go into oncoming traffic or something like that.  No need to act like I just kicked you in the teeth.  People will think I DID kick you in the teeth.

~You may one day live in a clothing optional world.  In fact, at home, you still do.  But when we leave the house, they (meaning, pants and underwear) are required.  This is not your fault.  I think adults just hate to see somebody with a bottom so much cuter than theirs. 

~Asking you if you just went poop is not an invitation to stick your hand up your bottom and check for leftovers.  (Note to self, just stop asking this.  Dumb idea mom.)

~I know other people smile and laugh and think you are cute when you take of into the bushes or down the hall bare foot at church.  That is just because they think it is funny that I have a two year old and theirs are grown.  They don't really WANT you to do that every week.  At least I don't think so.

~I think you should know that somebody very important must really love you.  I know this because you have achieved maximum cuteness at the perfect time: maximum trouble making age.  You have no idea how well this is working.  Mama simply can't stay mad, even when you scream and act somewhat crazy.

~My offer of help is not an affront to your independence.  I love that you like to do things on your own.  Really, I do.  But I have GOT to get your seat belts on properly, and you are not quite ready to do it yourself.

~Thank you for being the only person in the house who is not only willing but offers to put the dirty cloth diapers in the diaper bin.  Oh, I wish that excitement to help with dirty nappies lasted forever!

~You are still my baby even though I have another baby.  Thank you for still loving me no matter what.  I hope that lasts forever too.




Miranda said…
I love this! I would say it fits my 3 year old as well :)
You are awesome. I find myself floating over to your blog often. Very frequently, you happen to write about things that are so relevant to what I am living, that it almost makes me wonder if someone is watching me! Seriously though, your blog is a source of support and humor for so many of us. My two year old can make me nutty and giggle uncontrollably in a two minute time lapse. Thank you for your post today. You rock, Mama!