Somebody told me they wondered if people really understood my sense of humor through the internet. Well- I think some of these comments are hilarious even though they are not flattering. For the record, as I looked through comments to find these again, I realized how overwhelmingly positive the vast majority are- so thank you very much to all of you who are so kind. I appreciate it. Hope you can enjoy (just a little) a laugh at my expense.
In no particular order....The top 10!
(Note- I introduce each quote FIRST, then the actual comment is below.)
This goes to the person who pointed out that smoking marijuana while pregnant is akin to having a piece of bread. I just had some carrot cake.....or did I smoke crack? Does it really matter? No, of course not, they are about the same. There were lots of angry people about this post, all of whom were named anonymous, the meaner ones were deleted.
"Every single thing ingested produces changes in body chemistry and function, so pointing out marijuana use as a drug is misleading. Bread is a drug by the same token. So are Brazil nuts. But we don't fear monger by telling women that eating a slice of bread will cause an insulin reaction and create a gut bacteria imbalance that will impair mood and mental acuity. We don't warn against increasing testosterone via eating Brazil nuts as something that might not be optimal for growing fetuses... " Original post here.
Though I admit that my critique of the "Breaking Dawn" birth scene may have been not my best work, I must believe there is stupider stuff out there on the internet.....right?!
"This is probably the most stupid thing I have ever read... ITS FICTIONAL... LOL Who gives a crap how a fake baby was born in a story. And having read the books I dont see how you think 'the baby' could have been 'born' any other way. SO silly. Sorry lol" Original post here.
Goes to the person who believed I hate my kids because I made a joke. Yikes. Actually, I only spawned so I could start a natural birth blog....(And I don't own a Prada anything!! Nor am I a perfectionist!!! As if!)
"Sounds to me, like you only spawned in order to have more reasons to complain. I hope you can someday find joy in making a finger paint mess on the kitchen table, or destroying a new pair of Prada loafers by jumping in mud puddles with your kiddos.. Those memories will not send your children to therapy, like your anal retentive attention to perfection will. God be with your children & your Husband!" You can read the original post here
This one goes to the people who believe that when I write a post I am purposely insulting them. For the record- I have never met you. I am not making fun of you. The fact that I talk about natural birth like it is great does NOT mean that I think you suck. And yes, I realize that women die in childbirth. I am sincerely sorry when birth goes wrong for women, that is why I do this.
"Are you kidding me? Women very, VERY frequently died in childbirth up through the 1950s...which is coincidentally around the time when c-sections started to be more frequently used. There are numerous heart problems that go undetected until the body undergoes a traumatic process like natural delivery. Not all women gestate "beautifully" and not all pelvises are mobile. Some, like mine, have been broken in several places and will never expand the way you describe, making a c-section the only way giving birth would ever be possible. This post is DISGUSTINGLY ableist and woefully unresearched. Yes, many women can give birth naturally. But many more children and mothers survive now that there are alternative ways of getting a baby out of its mother's body. Many more babies are born without brain damage from cord injuries now that we are able to monitor fetal activity. The end objective is to deliver a healthy baby and stay alive to care for it. Modern advances have made that much more possible for many, many families." You can read the original post here
I just call this "Mercedes man" and I have to say, insulting my children is an interesting tactic!
"Thank you for sharing your opinion! Opinions, however, are much like anuses. Everyone has one, everyone else's stinks.
50% of the population has an IQ below 100 and I commend you on your courage to be one of that 50% and step forward with such an astonishingly uneducated and selfish point of view. To be so blatantly wrong and yet share your misguided opinions as fact illustrates that what you lack in intelligence you make up for in conviction.
I hope that you beat the genetic odds and breed a child with enough intelligence to survive, and thrive, despite their mother's feeble mental state. I'm concerned, however, that your offspring will languish. If you don't believe in advances in medicine you probably also don't believe in other advances, such as electricity, computers, the fact that the earth is round, etc. Odds are your child, if they survive despite your negligence, will end up an outcast and a reject. On the plus side, SOMEONE'S got to pump gas into my Mercedes." You can read the original post here
So this post quoted package inserts from common labor drugs. Needless to say, it didn't sit well with everybody. Why are they mad at me and not big pharm?! But, I probably should try to get over myself. That-- that is true.
"I hate articles like this, written in a tone that mocks anyone who doesn't go along with your perfect ideals of what childbirth should be. Those are POSSIBLE side effects; it does not mean that they will happen. There are also POSSIBLE risks to drug-free, at home births.
Post traumatic stress? Really? Lol. You shouldn't tell people what they should or shouldn't do during their own labor! Or try to scare them by telling them they will suffer for years if they use drugs! Get over yourself. " You can read it, here
My most popular post of all time was about having more than one child, which of course was insulting to people with only one child. In all honesty, I did not mean it that way! I used to have just one! Really I did!
""When you have more than one child you start to learn a few things"
"This is bulls@#t. You do not know why a woman laid on her back to have her baby! So stop with this bullshit! Babies are SAVED with the fetal monitor! Babies are SAVED when their own mother is laying on their backs delivering them!!!!" You can read more, here
OK, I actually deleted this one it was so offensive. But I will say that it had to do with this circumcision post and it was left by a man who claimed to be in his 70's. I will just say that if you want your comment to make the cut, don't include the words masturbation and thrusting in the same sentence. I don't want to know.
Too offensive to repeat.
Short, sweet, profound. I admit to deleting it, it kind of hurt my feelings. This about sums it up. ( It was from the marijuana post.)
That is all folks!