Thursday, March 17, 2011
Things To Give Up On In The Third Trimester
The third trimester. I am there. And- I have decided that there are some things I need to let go of for my own peace of mind and happiness.
~No more scales~
Except for when I see my midwife, I am going to stay away from those mean things. I am pregnant and I am gaining weight. I have no health issues that make careful monitoring an issue. I am gaining just as I have with my other three and I need to let go of this. I don't have complete control over my body right now and there is no way I am going to be skinny.
I feel better already.
I fully realize that some women feel super sexy and gorgeous while pregnant. (I feel happy for them. And a little in awe.) I am actually vain about my appearance while I am non-pregnant. Not in a "Is my hair perfect?" or "Do you like my new shoes?" kind of way. Just in a "I can fit in these jeans" kind of way. My personal vanities just need to go bye bye when I am pregnant. I need to accept that I can not fit into anything and still be a decent human being. Maybe I can actually bring myself to feel attractive just the way I am- motherly, not teeny-bopperish. How transcendent would that be?
Yesterday I wore black stretchy calf length admittedly strange pants (I don't even know what to call them), with a white maternity shirt (complete with stain on the belly button area) and brown boots. It was comfortable and I enjoyed it. It probably didn't look that good but embracing the spandex-ness of it all was liberating. Today I am actually wearing a velour track suit. It feels soooooo good.
~Catching the toddler~
She is getting faster and I am getting slower. End of story. I think we are looking at a few months of poor discipline. Life will get back to normal- whatever that was.
I feel pretty good but I need more rest. It is really hard for me to accept that I just can't get as much done. It makes me feel lazy.
On the exhale I let go of any burning need I have to feel perfect, accomplished, or above average. Pregnancy has lots of great things about it- excessive energy doesn't have to be one of them and it doesn't make me a lazy bum.
If the universe is listening, I do have to say that I feel it is a little unfair that in the last months of pregnancy sleep is very broken by urination breaks, especially when I will be up frequently with a newborn soon.
That being said- I just need to let go of the desire for solid sleep. I can not stop drinking water and I can't make my bladder bigger. So, I am going to embrace my moments alone at midnight, 2 am, and 4 am. I will enjoy my "quiet" time. And the soothing sounds of water flowing.
I refuse to feel guilty about chocolate at this point. I refuse. When I have this baby I know I will feel obligated to watch what I eat so now I will embrace a brief few months out of my life where I can just enjoy food. (This might be what men feel like all the time.) There will be no emotions, just pleasure surrounding the nourishment that me and the baby need. It will be kind of like that book "Eat, Pray, Love" except that no Italian men will be wanting to grope me.
You know what, letting go of some of my ridiculous expectations that I put on myself makes me feel better already. Happy gestating!