5 Top Secret Things About Pregnancy


1) It makes you more sensitive to the potty training child.

Example) Your 4 year old has an accident. While pregnant you can really commiserate. "It's OK honey. Why just today, I sneezed with a full bladder and I wet my pants. It happens to everybody."

2) The boobie fairy.

Well, that's what my husband calls it. Just a tad offensive, I know. But, self explanatory.

3) Swollen ankles.

Well, this isn't really that top secret. Just small proof that I can be totally unaware of myself. With my first I seriously thought my legs were just getting "more muscular." I even had a whole conversation with my husband about it. "My legs are so much more muscular honey. Look! My calves are bigger than yours and you lift weights!" I was proud of myself.

4) Sex Drive-

I have family who reads this blog, so of course, this doesn't apply to me. Technically I am still a virgin. Hi Dad.

But I hear that some women have this.

5) After the pregnancy, the boobie fairy leaves- and she takes all her friends with her AND the house.

I won't get into details, but you may end up with a closet full of various different bra sizes for various stages of your life, pregnancy and nursing.

Comments

Susan said…
you had me giggling the whole way through this. Love it!
This was so funny!!! I especially love the "Hi Dad" comment because my dad is the same way.

And I do have a drawer full of bras. I could lay them out in chronological order. Being that I'm still nursing AND pregnant my current bra is starting to show some spillage and so I'm needing ANOTHER upgrade.
Monalipschitz said…
Been discussing this with my mum recently and she'd assumed every woman's boobs got bigger and firmer permanently like hers did after she had me. She's stunned others don't get that, and also a little thrilled! Who am I kidding, a lot thrilled ;)
Jenn said…
i loved this post! thanks for telling it like it is :)
so funny...i wish i could relate, lol haha
Anonymous said…
Re #4: Hi Kiddo,
FYI, your mother and I only had sex three times. 100% success rate when shooting for score.
Dad
Shannon said…
It's been 10 years since I last nursed a child and the boobie fairy has yet to leave. Once I grow out of my old bra and into a bigger size for nursing, they remain that way forever. And since with each pregnancy I gain a cup size, and once my milk comes in a gain ANOTHER cup size...

At least s/o is happy.