I have been posting positive birth stories on this blog for months now and this birth story is different than an others I have ever posted. I think it is important to read and very telling about what does and does not make for a good birth experience. For one, a good birth is different to every woman. That being said, I have noticed that how happy people are with their birth experience has more to do with how kindly and respectfully they are treated than where or how they birth. Enjoy!
I moved across the globe at 32 weeks pg. I was single and didn't know anybody. I had worked labor and delivery years before but really didn't know anything that hadn't been fed to me by medical staff. I was 40 weeks along when I finally allowed the nurse practitioner to even check my cervix, as she was doing so I told her it was pointless as I hadn't even had any CTX yet, she laughed and told me I was having one right then, further more I was already 4 cm.
Then she sent me on my way. I spent the weekend preparing, and on Sunday went out sightseeing with some new found friends. We spent the entire day out and about. I got home just after dinner time and finally went to bed. I couldn't sleep. so I got up and took a hot bath, ran out of hot water ( stupid broken tank lol).
So finally around midnight-1 am I called my friend and asked her to come get me and take me in, all I wanted was some sleep aids as I still didn't feel CTX. When I got to the hospital I was checked and found to be 5 cm. I asked for sleep aids and was offered an epidural. Even though I wasn't feeling CTX I agreed if it would help me sleep. By the time the Anesthesiologist got there the CTX were hard. so I was thankful. I fell fast asleep. In the morning I awoke to the Midwife saying this is no way to have a baby (he wasn't the kind to mince words) I just lay there thinking it was the perfect way to have a baby. A few hours later I was uncomfortable and briefly regretted the epi since I couldn't get up.and we'd discovered that the baby was facing up so moving me into different positions trying to get him to turn was difficult.
After 2 hours the Midwife finally called the Doc. he got there and came to talk to me. I remember how sweet he was assuring me I was doing a great job and that if I wanted I could keep pushing. It had been more than 3 hours at this point so I point-blank asked if the baby was moving and he said in a very disappointed voice, no I don't think he is, and he's too high for forceps. So I agreed to a C/S. they dosed up my EPI becasue it was a holiday and the surgical staff was doing an emergency appendectomy (I wouldn't have let them call in the back-up team without an emergency)
An hour and a half after the decision was made we went in and I had a C/S. The first thing the midwife said was WOW that is a big baby. While they worked they both ( Dr and Midwife) commented on how I had plenty of room in my pelvis. that just a cm less angle to his head and he would have flown out, but as it was my 9 lb 15 oz baby was not only facing backwards, but had his head tilted at just an angle to be completely lodged. My midwife told me that no matter what they'd tried it would likely not have worked because he was seated in there very well. they also laughed and said that his giant cone head proved I was an awesome pusher.
In the days after my birth my Dr. the surgeon mind you made a point to tell me that I was totally capable of VBAC'ing a baby at least this size if not bigger. He was so supportive, The midwife supported me insisting I had done everything that could be. I honestly had no clue why they were doing this. I felt emotionally fine about it all sure I was sore, but my baby was healthy and to me that WAS the important thing.
I share this because my story has many of the "natural birth" horror elements yet for me it was a satisfying experience that I have no problems with to this day. I am the poster child for successful VBAC. and I would never chose an elective C/S. I'm now a doula and active VBAC supporter. But my most recent VBAC was far more traumatic than my C/S. I had everything lined up against me the first time, no family, no close friends, co-workers delivering my baby, single mom with no involvement from the baby-daddy. But because of the support and care of my medical providers I had a positive experience.
During my last (3rd) textbook perfect- VBAC wonder story ( 9 .6 lbs flew out in 3 pushes) I was left with a lot of emotional trauma because of a horses posterior Doc.
I would like to add a note not really as part of my birth story but feel free to post it too. I have spent many years working in the OB field, don't assume that your staff does these things because they don't care,. With my second birth I asked my Dr. ( different one) What he thought about VBAC vs C/S and he said " I'm a jaded OB, I will choose C/S every time because I can control that. that doesn't make it your best option". See he worried more during a VBAC because it's out of his control, but he stood by my decision. I've seen medical staff cry right alongside a patient with a bad outcome. I'd seen a Docs get angry with themselves even though there was nothing they could have done. And I've sat in staff meetings were we scoured every second of a birth for any minute thing we could have done differently. Most of us care. we're just uninformed.
Anyway I certainly hope this made sense. I am a genuine supporter of no-intervention and . To be frank I have seen just enough genuine emergencies that HB would never be an option for me. I don't want to come across as Pro-C/S because I'm NOT I just don't want anyone to think they should feel less of a woman, of a mom, because they had a C/S.