Welcome to birth story Wednesday! This birth is a little different than some of the others I have published. My jaw actually dropped when I read it! It is a beautiful birth that really details the sensual side of birth that you don't hear about very often. Thanks mama for sharing!
It was Monday and I was 41 weeks and 1 day. The night before had been a pretty miserable one for me. I'd been up every hour, crampy and uncomfortable. I woke up in a bad mood, but got over it shortly after breakfast.
Colin was home now from work. His boss was sick of waiting for me to have the baby, so his time off was this whole week until his surgery the following week. Our initial cutoff for the baby to be born was the 8th. If baby came after the 8th, he would reschedule his surgery for later so that I'd have enough time to recover before he was in need of his own healing down time. We weren't really thinking about that anymore, though, and were just waiting for the baby to come whenever it was ready.
We hadn't had sex in a few days (odd for us, since we'd been having it rather regularly to try and make labor start, or to make annoying contractions end, and because we never knew exactly when it would be our last time). Our plan for the day was to go at each other while the kids napped.
After breakfast I started to have contractions, nothing stronger or more intense than I'd had before, but a few hours later as I was getting a snack together for the kids, I had another little feeling of "could this be it?" but I'd said that to myself so many times already that I didn't believe it. I figured I'd let some time go by, and do the usual to determine if it was labor. Drink water, eat something, take a shower, have sex ... that combo always managed to end the contractions thus far.
I snacked the kids and then it was naptime for them. We got all the kiddos down and I hopped in the shower. The contractions didn't stop. They hadn't really gotten stronger, and they weren't close together (in my mind), maybe 15 minutes apart. We laid down to cuddle and made an attempt at sex. We'd always just worked right through the contractions in the past and I was able to relax and have an orgasm anyway, and they'd stop somewhere along the way. This time they were so strong I really didn't think I'd be able to make it, but Lord knows that wouldn't stop us from trying.
Colin had his fingers on my g-spot through one contraction, and it was the most amazing feeling ... the strength of the peak of the contraction, the pulling and stretching sensation on my cervix, and the pleasure that he was giving me, all combined to give me a dulled orgasm that caught me off guard.
We would have gone further but Leo decided that was his time to begin stirring and wake up from his nap. At this point I think we both knew this really could be it, I could be in the beginning of labor, and we promised to try and have sex later if possible ... and if we couldn't, it wasn't the end of the world. We'd had great sex a few days prior and if that had to hold us off for the next few months, so be it.
We already knew I was at six centimeters and had been for a week. I was under the impression that things would move rather quickly, that my water would all of a sudden break, and within a few hours I'd have a baby. To have contractions for an entire day wasn't really what I was expecting.
Up from naps, we made the kids lunch and after that the contractions began to get strong enough that I was slowing down through them and focusing a bit. I could still talk and walk (it actually felt good to walk during them). By 5:30 Colin was making dinner (lasagna) and I was milling about, keeping an eye on the kids.
I wanted to hang out with him in the kitchen, so I got on my exercise ball and rocked while I grated cheese and fed nibbles of it to Vik and Leo. We played the timing game from 6:00 to 7:00, and the contractions were about 8 minutes apart. At 7:00 the lasagna was done, and we all ate. Colin was great through dinner with the kids, shushing them every time he saw me starting to contract, so I could have quiet when I needed it.
I didn't have a huge appetite, and I was almost certain I was in labor, so I didn't want to gorge on food. After dinner Colin put 3 huge pots of water on to boil for filling the tub / reheating the bath water since I knew I would want a warm bath for a while to relax me. He put a fourth pot on to boil for the kitchen scissors, to sterilize them for cutting the cord. I was texting back and forth with Drew about the contractions and how I was feeling as I was discussing with Colin what our plan was for the kids.
We decided that we would have Drew take Leo overnight, and put the other three to bed soon after Leo left, and that we wouldn't need to call my mom to come watch anyone since they'd all be fine. At the pace I was going with the contractions, the baby would come overnight and the kids would all wake up to a new sibling in the morning. It couldn't have worked out better if we'd planned it. Drew came around 8:00 for Leo, who happily went with Dada for the night.
By then I felt best leaning over and breathing deeply through the contractions. With Leo gone, Colin got Cy, Charlie, and Vik up to bed while I went to the bathroom to pee. I noticed a little blob of bloody mucous on the tissue when I wiped, and when I stood up I looked in the toilet - there was a bit more in there, too. My dad called and I talked to him for a few minutes. I had to stop at one point to breathe through a contraction. I told him I was in labor and he said good luck and to call him since he was at work that night once the baby came. I got off the phone and realized then that I was ready for a bath.
Colin came down from putting the kids to bed and we decided that I should turn on the water to start filling the tub, and he would add hot water from the stove as needed. I emptied the hot water tank and then climbed in the tub. It felt delightful. I was so calm and relaxed from the heat and the feeling of the water around me. The contractions were about 6-7 minutes apart but they were much more pleasurable because of how relaxed I was. I was able to just lean back, and moan through the peaks, and feel the stretching of my cervix as it opened up for the baby's head. I could feel the baby coming down slowly and it felt great to be widened up like that inside.
It was 8:45 when I got into the bathtub. Once the tub was full Colin got in, to see if that would be helpful for me, but we just didn't fit right. He brought in a towel for me to lean against and he alternated between sitting next to the tub so I could hold his hand, and pouring water on my chest, back, and belly. I was still pretty chatty at this point, talking about stupid little stuff.
Around 9:30 I felt the sensation of my water breaking and told Colin. At one point Drew texted to see how I was, and Colin replied how far apart the contractions were, and "no baby yet". I got out of the tub to pee and realized I was going to have a bowel movement ... so I asked Colin to leave me be for a few minutes. I was so ready to get back in the tub after moaning through those contractions out of the water!
We brought the old alarm clock into the bathroom to start timing (so we didn't have to look at the microwave clock) at 10:00 and they soon got to be 3 minutes apart. For a short period of time I was asking Colin for reassurance, saying "Can I do this?" and he shot back perfect answers, telling me I was strong, and beautiful, and handling everything so well. I suddenly didn't feel the need to moan anymore during the peaks, and got completely quiet, and just focused on the sensations inside of me. How open I felt, and how wide I could feel my cervix stretching with each contraction. I was feeling very capable, and excited, and ready to hold my baby in my arms.
At 10:50 I was out of the tub and the contractions were 2 minutes apart the last time we checked while we were in the bathroom. I sat on the toilet to see if I had to pee or poop, but I didn't have to do either. I looked to the left at the clock and it said 10:52. I had been in the tub for 2 hours. I peed and made my way to the bed, thinking I would lay on my side and relax for a while, but I never made it down.
It was almost pitch dark in the bedroom, with the only light being the nightlight on the baby monitor. I stayed on my hands and knees and rocked through the contractions. They were so strong, and it felt so good to ride on top of them and just experience my uterus doing what it had to do. I was vocalizing loudly.
Colin got me the heating pad for my back and held it in place as I rocked. He suggested that I use the pillows if I wanted to lean on, and I did pile up 3 of them to lean over. I was moaning through each contraction, and I didn't feel pushy at all. My moans slowly morphed into growls, and I realized then that I although I didn't really feel pushy, I sounded pushy, but I was still just going with my body and doing what felt best.
My growls all of a sudden became soft roaring noises, and the roars only got louder. Now, as I rocked back and forth, roaring wildly through my contractions, I asked Colin to get the heating pad off and just apply pressure with his hands to my lower back. I felt myself pushing and it felt great. These contractions were very strong, and I was amazed at how loud I was, and how I was acting. But it all felt perfect.
I was talking in between the contractions, to myself and God and the baby. "Come baby, come down, down and out ... come to Momma and Colin ... it feels so good ... Mommy is going to birth you tonight ... I'm going to bring you in the world, little baby ... I can do this, I know I can ... oh, yeah, yeah." As the contractions peaked I was roaring deeply and loudly, gripping the top of the bed or bracing my hands on the wall, pushing and feeling so strong, and so powerful, and on top of the world.
I was birthing my baby, with the man I love, we were doing it. Very soon I knew I would bring this baby into the world and give it a name. I reached my hand down to feel myself in between the contractions, and I could feel stringy mucous hanging out of me. I touched my clit to see what kind of sensations I had, and it felt awesome. I was off roaring into the next contraction then. I felt the fullness inside as the baby came down inside of me, and then I knew it was almost there, almost at the bottom of my vagina, the head so close and ready to come out. A few times I asked Colin if he could see anything, but it was too dark for him to discern anything at all.
I was ready to do this for hours if I had do. It was tiring but it was not impossible, and it was hard work and it was taking over my whole body but it felt so perfectly instinctual to let go and just be, just feel, and let my body and mind and soul focus on birthing. There were no distractions. There was no pain, just good, strong, intense stretching.
I felt the burning as the head began to come out of me, and I told Colin to get ready to catch the baby. He put his hand to my vagina to hold it to the head. I paused once I had pushed out the head, to feel how full I was with my baby in my vagina, and how stretched out I was with the baby's head out of me. I knew I was just one good roaring push away from meeting this little one.
I went into the next contraction with all of my energy, and pushed with everything inside of me. I felt everything. I felt shoulders and hips and feet all slide down inside of me and pop out in one long push, with a rush of fluid behind it. Colin's hands were right there to catch the baby as it slid out of me. I heard my baby cry, and Colin announced "It's a boy!". I felt the cord inside of me, all the way up inside, and still attached to my sweet baby on the outside, as I flipped over to sit at the top of the bed while Colin moved up with the baby and laid him on my chest. I laughed with pure joy as I held my baby boy, my son, in my arms and heard him cry and felt him wriggle and breathe and be alive.
He was a bit gurgly, so I asked Colin to suck the mucous out of him, which he did with his mouth. He put it right over the baby's nose and mouth and sucked and spit twice without hesitation. The baby was warm and wet and slippery and had a thick head of hair that I could see even in the dark. I felt his tiny little body and was so happy, so exuberant, that I had done it.
I had birthed my baby, we had birthed this baby, by ourselves, at home, and it was the most perfect experience. I couldn't have prayed for anything better. I had prayed for strength, and for peace, and I got it. God let me let go, and get out of my own head, so my body could take over and do what He designed it to do.
Within an hour the placenta was out and shortly thereafter Colin whipped a third of it up into a smoothie which I drank quickly. It was delicious. We took a few pictures, made a few phone calls, and after cleaning up the bed and taking a shower laid down for a few hours of sleep with our new little boy, Nikolaos. His exact time of birth was 11:43 pm. Born unassisted, into Colin's hands, and into our loving family.